"Your Own Best Friend"

Today, let's talk about the most important relationship in your life - the one you have with yourself.

Think of someone you regard as a dear friend. If no such person exists in your life, dream one up. The time you spend with this person brings you a special pleasure, doesn't it? You tend to be loving, protective, and solicitous toward him or her, and you really have their best interests at heart, don't you? You really care.

Now, ask yourself, "Do I give myself the same kind of care and consideration?" On the basis of your self-treatment, many of us would truthfully need to answer, "Certainly not!" If this is your answer, ask yourself why. Maybe you will see some negative programming from the past that taught you to suppress or deny your own needs. Maybe you were taught that caring for yourself was selfish and wrong. As a result, you engineer defeats and deprivations, either automatically or unconsciously, that leave you feeling victimized.

But, you know, you can't really treat others any better than you treat yourself without hurting your own self-esteem. Your self-esteem is of vital importance, for without it you will have less to give, be able to receive less, and in general live a less than satisfying and fulfilling life.

So, if you want to be a good friend to others, take my advice and learn to be your own best friend.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute