1. Never disparage your partner.I find most people in relationships are usually looking to return to "that feeling" you have when you first fall in love. From my personal experience, the loss of this feeling comes from each partner losing the respect they had for the other when they first met. Remember your love will NOT be perfect, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve your respect and love. Don't try to make your partner "better." You loved them exactly the way they were when you first met them. Don't let time change that.
2. Never let your partner disparage you.Personal integrity is valuable asset. Lose that and you lose your identity as a being. Everyone deserves to be treated with value and love. If you have a partner who doesn't respect you, talk to them about it. Let them know how you feel. If it's not something they are willing to change... find someone else. It may not seem like it now but you'll be happier in the long run.
3. Keep your romance alive.Contrary to popular opinion, romance doesn't just exist. After some period of time you do have to put in effort to keep it alive. It doesn't have to be much. In fact, the most romantic people I know just take the time to do the little things to make their partner feel special. Make a commitment to do something romantic at least every day. Remember, even taking the time to really listen to how your partner's day went can be considered romantic!
4. Always be honest.Nothing can damage a relationship more than dishonesty, even white lies. In every case, honesty is the best policy. This also means... don't put yourself in situations you feel the need to lie about. Relationships are built on trust. Once broken it's very difficult to rebuild. Avoid, at any cost, falling into this trap.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
"Scotomas"
Do you know what Scotomas are? Everyone has them and they can keep you from seeing the opportunities all around you.
Have you ever heard of a "Scotoma?" It's what doctors call the defect that blocks sight in one part of our visual field. It's also a term I use to describe our occasional failure to see what's right in front of us because we build our own Scotoma, or mental blind spot, to it.
You see for the most part, we see what we expect to see or what we look for, not what is really there. What we expect to see is determined by our beliefs about reality. If we believe the world is a hostile, unfriendly place, we'll see evidence to support that belief everywhere we look. But if we believe people are basically good and that the world is a supportive, friendly place, that's what we'll see and experience.
Now, our beliefs are mostly a matter of how we have been conditioned since birth. But once we become adults, it is possible to become aware of our conditioning, our belief systems, and even our Scotomas.
We can choose to expand our consciousness, remove our blind spots, and adopt beliefs that will help us grow instead of clinging to expectations and attitudes that keep us suspicious and small. By the simple act of making this choice, we actually start the wheels of a better future turning.
And by the daily affirmation of goals that support our commitment, we become top-notch Scotoma Busters, and then we really start to grow!
Lou Tice
Have you ever heard of a "Scotoma?" It's what doctors call the defect that blocks sight in one part of our visual field. It's also a term I use to describe our occasional failure to see what's right in front of us because we build our own Scotoma, or mental blind spot, to it.
You see for the most part, we see what we expect to see or what we look for, not what is really there. What we expect to see is determined by our beliefs about reality. If we believe the world is a hostile, unfriendly place, we'll see evidence to support that belief everywhere we look. But if we believe people are basically good and that the world is a supportive, friendly place, that's what we'll see and experience.
Now, our beliefs are mostly a matter of how we have been conditioned since birth. But once we become adults, it is possible to become aware of our conditioning, our belief systems, and even our Scotomas.
We can choose to expand our consciousness, remove our blind spots, and adopt beliefs that will help us grow instead of clinging to expectations and attitudes that keep us suspicious and small. By the simple act of making this choice, we actually start the wheels of a better future turning.
And by the daily affirmation of goals that support our commitment, we become top-notch Scotoma Busters, and then we really start to grow!
Lou Tice
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
"Building A Better World"
How do we build a better society, a better world? Today, I will give you my prescription for a better world.
I got an e-mail the other day with a special request. This person wrote, "I'
ve been reading your words lately as you talk about raising kids and dealing with conflict and adversity, and the importance of self-respect and self-esteem. Now, would you please talk about how we can build a better world."
I'd be glad to. In fact, I have been all along. Because, you know, if we want a world with more intelligence, more clear thinking and honesty, more goodwill and brotherhood, what we have to do is cultivate these qualities in ourselves first.
There is a natural progression in social advancement from the individual to the family, then out to the community, the nation and the world. The line of progress can move in no other direction. Every time you show tolerance and understanding, all of us live in a more tolerant world.
Every time you reach out to help someone in need or show kindness to another, with no thought of personal gain, you improve the quality of society in general. Every time you grow as a person, as a parent, as a human being in community with others around you, you change the delicate balance of life on earth.
So, you see, the most important thing you can do to make a better world, is make a better you.
Lou Tice
I got an e-mail the other day with a special request. This person wrote, "I'
ve been reading your words lately as you talk about raising kids and dealing with conflict and adversity, and the importance of self-respect and self-esteem. Now, would you please talk about how we can build a better world."
I'd be glad to. In fact, I have been all along. Because, you know, if we want a world with more intelligence, more clear thinking and honesty, more goodwill and brotherhood, what we have to do is cultivate these qualities in ourselves first.
There is a natural progression in social advancement from the individual to the family, then out to the community, the nation and the world. The line of progress can move in no other direction. Every time you show tolerance and understanding, all of us live in a more tolerant world.
Every time you reach out to help someone in need or show kindness to another, with no thought of personal gain, you improve the quality of society in general. Every time you grow as a person, as a parent, as a human being in community with others around you, you change the delicate balance of life on earth.
So, you see, the most important thing you can do to make a better world, is make a better you.
Lou Tice
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
"Everyone Can Learn"
Do you know people who talk about kids who can learn and kids who can't? Or, kids who can be helped and kids who can't? Well, they are wrong, and I'll tell you why.
Some 30-odd years ago, the great Japanese teacher, Dr. Suzuki, who taught over 20,000 children to understand and play the violin like virtuosi, had some words of wisdom to share with us. He said, " People today are like gardeners who look sadly at ruined saplings and shake their heads, saying the seeds must have been bad to start with - not realizing that the seed was all right, and that it was their method of cultivation that was wrong. They go on their mistaken way, ruining plant after plant. It is imperative that the human race escape from this vicious circle."
Dr. Suzuki did not believe that some children were gifted while others were not. He believed that every child could be superior, and that every child could be educated. Talent, he believed, was no accident of birth, but a purposeful effort, a powerful creation.
Let's teach our children to understand that when they see someone of ability, they see a person who has been carefully taught, and who has worked hard to realize their unlimited potential. Let's teach them that they have the same unlimited potential. And let's teach them to believe in sustained effort, self-discipline and self-determination.
We have the opportunity and the ability to raise an entire generation of superstars every day. Why would we settle for less?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Some 30-odd years ago, the great Japanese teacher, Dr. Suzuki, who taught over 20,000 children to understand and play the violin like virtuosi, had some words of wisdom to share with us. He said, " People today are like gardeners who look sadly at ruined saplings and shake their heads, saying the seeds must have been bad to start with - not realizing that the seed was all right, and that it was their method of cultivation that was wrong. They go on their mistaken way, ruining plant after plant. It is imperative that the human race escape from this vicious circle."
Dr. Suzuki did not believe that some children were gifted while others were not. He believed that every child could be superior, and that every child could be educated. Talent, he believed, was no accident of birth, but a purposeful effort, a powerful creation.
Let's teach our children to understand that when they see someone of ability, they see a person who has been carefully taught, and who has worked hard to realize their unlimited potential. Let's teach them that they have the same unlimited potential. And let's teach them to believe in sustained effort, self-discipline and self-determination.
We have the opportunity and the ability to raise an entire generation of superstars every day. Why would we settle for less?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Monday, August 08, 2005
"The Secret of Life"
Would you like to know the secret of life?
Down through the years, there have been many stories and anecdotes about people who searched for the secret of life. The secret of life, according to the well-known psychiatrist, Dr. David Viscott, is that there is no secret.
I agree.
It is hard work, determination, and effective thinking, backed up by persistent action, that brings you success in life, not any magic lamp or winning lottery ticket.
I bet you knew that all along, didn't you? I will bet you also know that the purpose of life is to discover and develop your own unique gifts, whatever they may be, and that the meaning of life comes from sharing your gifts with others.
Pretty simple, huh? And the key to all this, the glue that holds it together and allows you to create something truly wonderful, is accountability - or responsibility - if you prefer.
While it is true that many things that have happened to you are not your fault, you didn't cause them, in every case you chose to react in your own way. Of course, accepting responsibility for your reactions to events means you have to stop blaming others for your problems, but it also empowers you to change what you need to change and move on.
After all, in the words of the Swahili saying, "It is not what name others call you that matters, but what name you respond to that truly determines who you are."
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Down through the years, there have been many stories and anecdotes about people who searched for the secret of life. The secret of life, according to the well-known psychiatrist, Dr. David Viscott, is that there is no secret.
I agree.
It is hard work, determination, and effective thinking, backed up by persistent action, that brings you success in life, not any magic lamp or winning lottery ticket.
I bet you knew that all along, didn't you? I will bet you also know that the purpose of life is to discover and develop your own unique gifts, whatever they may be, and that the meaning of life comes from sharing your gifts with others.
Pretty simple, huh? And the key to all this, the glue that holds it together and allows you to create something truly wonderful, is accountability - or responsibility - if you prefer.
While it is true that many things that have happened to you are not your fault, you didn't cause them, in every case you chose to react in your own way. Of course, accepting responsibility for your reactions to events means you have to stop blaming others for your problems, but it also empowers you to change what you need to change and move on.
After all, in the words of the Swahili saying, "It is not what name others call you that matters, but what name you respond to that truly determines who you are."
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
"High Energy"
How is your energy level? Do you sometimes wish you had more get-up-and-go?
Today let's look at how high-energy people get that way.
Why is it that some people seem to have a never-ending supply of energy?
They get up feeling eager to get started and they radiate good spirits and high energy all day long. Did you ever stop by the vitamin counter at the drug store, wondering what you could take to get that kind of energy?
Let me tell you what I think. Assuming you are in good health, your strength and energy will come from having meaningful and clear lifetime goals. In other words, a purpose in life. You see, high-energy people know what they want and have an unshakable belief that what they want is possible. They have a purpose that they have chosen freely, and they set goals and develop action plans to help them achieve it.
What is your purpose? It doesn't matter so much what you want, as long as you want something. You'd be surprised how energized you can become once you know the answer to this question. When you have chosen your purpose, and you have a clear idea fixed firmly in your mind of what it is you want to be and do, you will be surprised at how your energy level will grow to help you find ways to get there.
You will become very resourceful and creative, and you will discover that having a purpose is the best vitamin in the world! Again I ask you, what is your purpose in life?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Today let's look at how high-energy people get that way.
Why is it that some people seem to have a never-ending supply of energy?
They get up feeling eager to get started and they radiate good spirits and high energy all day long. Did you ever stop by the vitamin counter at the drug store, wondering what you could take to get that kind of energy?
Let me tell you what I think. Assuming you are in good health, your strength and energy will come from having meaningful and clear lifetime goals. In other words, a purpose in life. You see, high-energy people know what they want and have an unshakable belief that what they want is possible. They have a purpose that they have chosen freely, and they set goals and develop action plans to help them achieve it.
What is your purpose? It doesn't matter so much what you want, as long as you want something. You'd be surprised how energized you can become once you know the answer to this question. When you have chosen your purpose, and you have a clear idea fixed firmly in your mind of what it is you want to be and do, you will be surprised at how your energy level will grow to help you find ways to get there.
You will become very resourceful and creative, and you will discover that having a purpose is the best vitamin in the world! Again I ask you, what is your purpose in life?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Monday, August 01, 2005
"Management Role"
Managers who want quality from their workforce need to hold themselves to the same high standards. To borrow an old saying, "What's good for the goose, is good for the gander" - or, it should be.
You see, in the quest for total quality and continuous improvement, many managers forget about the role that they themselves play in bringing these things about. They ignore the baggage they bring to work everyday but expect their employees to be totally focused on their jobs. Or they announce a new corporate ethic, but continue to behave as they always have because they don 't really think the new standard applies to them.
There is no doubt about it, the companies showing the others how it's done are characterized by management that is more receptive to change and more receptive to new ideas. And the companies that will lead us into the future are the ones led by men and women who can do what is currently considered unusual, and do it comfortably.
They are risk takers in their personal as well as professional lives and they see themselves - intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, economically - as experiments in continuous improvement. In other words, they walk the talk.
Change usually starts at the top, but it can also be stopped there unless management makes a sincere effort to take its own standards of excellence to heart. What can you do as a manager, as an executive, as an employee, or as an owner to encourage continuous improvement?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
You see, in the quest for total quality and continuous improvement, many managers forget about the role that they themselves play in bringing these things about. They ignore the baggage they bring to work everyday but expect their employees to be totally focused on their jobs. Or they announce a new corporate ethic, but continue to behave as they always have because they don 't really think the new standard applies to them.
There is no doubt about it, the companies showing the others how it's done are characterized by management that is more receptive to change and more receptive to new ideas. And the companies that will lead us into the future are the ones led by men and women who can do what is currently considered unusual, and do it comfortably.
They are risk takers in their personal as well as professional lives and they see themselves - intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, economically - as experiments in continuous improvement. In other words, they walk the talk.
Change usually starts at the top, but it can also be stopped there unless management makes a sincere effort to take its own standards of excellence to heart. What can you do as a manager, as an executive, as an employee, or as an owner to encourage continuous improvement?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
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