Would you like to know the secret of life?
Down through the years, there have been many stories and anecdotes about people who searched for the secret of life. The secret of life, according to the well-known psychiatrist, Dr. David Viscott, is that there is no secret.
I agree.
It is hard work, determination, and effective thinking, backed up by persistent action, that brings you success in life, not any magic lamp or winning lottery ticket.
I bet you knew that all along, didn't you? I will bet you also know that the purpose of life is to discover and develop your own unique gifts, whatever they may be, and that the meaning of life comes from sharing your gifts with others.
Pretty simple, huh? And the key to all this, the glue that holds it together and allows you to create something truly wonderful, is accountability - or responsibility - if you prefer.
While it is true that many things that have happened to you are not your fault, you didn't cause them, in every case you chose to react in your own way. Of course, accepting responsibility for your reactions to events means you have to stop blaming others for your problems, but it also empowers you to change what you need to change and move on.
After all, in the words of the Swahili saying, "It is not what name others call you that matters, but what name you respond to that truly determines who you are."
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Monday, August 08, 2005
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
"High Energy"
How is your energy level? Do you sometimes wish you had more get-up-and-go?
Today let's look at how high-energy people get that way.
Why is it that some people seem to have a never-ending supply of energy?
They get up feeling eager to get started and they radiate good spirits and high energy all day long. Did you ever stop by the vitamin counter at the drug store, wondering what you could take to get that kind of energy?
Let me tell you what I think. Assuming you are in good health, your strength and energy will come from having meaningful and clear lifetime goals. In other words, a purpose in life. You see, high-energy people know what they want and have an unshakable belief that what they want is possible. They have a purpose that they have chosen freely, and they set goals and develop action plans to help them achieve it.
What is your purpose? It doesn't matter so much what you want, as long as you want something. You'd be surprised how energized you can become once you know the answer to this question. When you have chosen your purpose, and you have a clear idea fixed firmly in your mind of what it is you want to be and do, you will be surprised at how your energy level will grow to help you find ways to get there.
You will become very resourceful and creative, and you will discover that having a purpose is the best vitamin in the world! Again I ask you, what is your purpose in life?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Today let's look at how high-energy people get that way.
Why is it that some people seem to have a never-ending supply of energy?
They get up feeling eager to get started and they radiate good spirits and high energy all day long. Did you ever stop by the vitamin counter at the drug store, wondering what you could take to get that kind of energy?
Let me tell you what I think. Assuming you are in good health, your strength and energy will come from having meaningful and clear lifetime goals. In other words, a purpose in life. You see, high-energy people know what they want and have an unshakable belief that what they want is possible. They have a purpose that they have chosen freely, and they set goals and develop action plans to help them achieve it.
What is your purpose? It doesn't matter so much what you want, as long as you want something. You'd be surprised how energized you can become once you know the answer to this question. When you have chosen your purpose, and you have a clear idea fixed firmly in your mind of what it is you want to be and do, you will be surprised at how your energy level will grow to help you find ways to get there.
You will become very resourceful and creative, and you will discover that having a purpose is the best vitamin in the world! Again I ask you, what is your purpose in life?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Monday, August 01, 2005
"Management Role"
Managers who want quality from their workforce need to hold themselves to the same high standards. To borrow an old saying, "What's good for the goose, is good for the gander" - or, it should be.
You see, in the quest for total quality and continuous improvement, many managers forget about the role that they themselves play in bringing these things about. They ignore the baggage they bring to work everyday but expect their employees to be totally focused on their jobs. Or they announce a new corporate ethic, but continue to behave as they always have because they don 't really think the new standard applies to them.
There is no doubt about it, the companies showing the others how it's done are characterized by management that is more receptive to change and more receptive to new ideas. And the companies that will lead us into the future are the ones led by men and women who can do what is currently considered unusual, and do it comfortably.
They are risk takers in their personal as well as professional lives and they see themselves - intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, economically - as experiments in continuous improvement. In other words, they walk the talk.
Change usually starts at the top, but it can also be stopped there unless management makes a sincere effort to take its own standards of excellence to heart. What can you do as a manager, as an executive, as an employee, or as an owner to encourage continuous improvement?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
You see, in the quest for total quality and continuous improvement, many managers forget about the role that they themselves play in bringing these things about. They ignore the baggage they bring to work everyday but expect their employees to be totally focused on their jobs. Or they announce a new corporate ethic, but continue to behave as they always have because they don 't really think the new standard applies to them.
There is no doubt about it, the companies showing the others how it's done are characterized by management that is more receptive to change and more receptive to new ideas. And the companies that will lead us into the future are the ones led by men and women who can do what is currently considered unusual, and do it comfortably.
They are risk takers in their personal as well as professional lives and they see themselves - intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, economically - as experiments in continuous improvement. In other words, they walk the talk.
Change usually starts at the top, but it can also be stopped there unless management makes a sincere effort to take its own standards of excellence to heart. What can you do as a manager, as an executive, as an employee, or as an owner to encourage continuous improvement?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Thursday, July 28, 2005
"Separating Self-Worth & Behavior"
Whether you are raising kids or trying to improve your own self-esteem, the relationship between who you are and what you do is important. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, or simply trying to build your own self-esteem, it is important to realize that we need to separate our sense of self-worth from our behavior.
Imagine this scene: A three-year-old asks repeatedly, "Mama, do you love me?" Each time, Mom answers, "Of course I do." Then the child takes her hand and leads her to a broken flowerpot or shattered toy and looks at her questioningly.
Here is a little child, on this earth only three short years, already asking one of the most profound psychological questions any of us can ask: "Is my ability to be loved tied to what I do? Am I the same as my behavior?" The answer for all of us, no matter how old we are, should be the same, "No, indeed!"
The importance of this point can't be overemphasized. To increase self-worth, it is vital that we respond to behavior while remaining friendly and respectful toward the person.
This means that when a child misbehaves, we don't call him a "bad boy." And when a child does what we want her to, we don't say, "What a good girl!"
Instead, we praise the behavior and hug the child.
The same goes for how we treat ourselves. Remember that you are not simply what you do any more than you are what you wear.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Imagine this scene: A three-year-old asks repeatedly, "Mama, do you love me?" Each time, Mom answers, "Of course I do." Then the child takes her hand and leads her to a broken flowerpot or shattered toy and looks at her questioningly.
Here is a little child, on this earth only three short years, already asking one of the most profound psychological questions any of us can ask: "Is my ability to be loved tied to what I do? Am I the same as my behavior?" The answer for all of us, no matter how old we are, should be the same, "No, indeed!"
The importance of this point can't be overemphasized. To increase self-worth, it is vital that we respond to behavior while remaining friendly and respectful toward the person.
This means that when a child misbehaves, we don't call him a "bad boy." And when a child does what we want her to, we don't say, "What a good girl!"
Instead, we praise the behavior and hug the child.
The same goes for how we treat ourselves. Remember that you are not simply what you do any more than you are what you wear.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
"Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"
Do you know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is? Most people know that a self-fulfilling prophecy is an event that, because it is predicted and expected, is therefore more likely to happen, and even caused to happen.
For example, according to Success magazine, two different groups of psychologists were once asked to observe the same child playing. One group was told beforehand that the child was emotionally disturbed. The other group was told that the child was a genius. When the psychologists were asked to report on their observations afterward, each group had found evidence to support their preconceived ideas.
Now, it's important to realize that self-fulfilling prophecies are everyday experiences -not just laboratory experiments. What do you expect your day to be like when you get up in the morning? How do you expect your kids to behave? How much success do you expect for yourself?
You see, if you predict failure, failure is generally what you will find.
And if you expect excellence, excellence is very likely what you will get.
How we think about a situation determines how we act, and how we act, more than anything else, determines the results.
That is how self-fulfilling prophecies work. There's nothing magical about it. What you get in life is pretty much how you behave, coming back at you.
To me, it makes perfect sense. What do you think?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
For example, according to Success magazine, two different groups of psychologists were once asked to observe the same child playing. One group was told beforehand that the child was emotionally disturbed. The other group was told that the child was a genius. When the psychologists were asked to report on their observations afterward, each group had found evidence to support their preconceived ideas.
Now, it's important to realize that self-fulfilling prophecies are everyday experiences -not just laboratory experiments. What do you expect your day to be like when you get up in the morning? How do you expect your kids to behave? How much success do you expect for yourself?
You see, if you predict failure, failure is generally what you will find.
And if you expect excellence, excellence is very likely what you will get.
How we think about a situation determines how we act, and how we act, more than anything else, determines the results.
That is how self-fulfilling prophecies work. There's nothing magical about it. What you get in life is pretty much how you behave, coming back at you.
To me, it makes perfect sense. What do you think?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Monday, July 25, 2005
"Fear"
Nothing blocks change quite the way fear does, and when its power is greater than your power to push through it, fear is devastating. In his book, "Getting Unstuck," Dr. Sidney Simon discusses ten ways fear blocks change, and today that information bears repeating.
Fear persuades you to do less than you are capable of doing. It triggers internal defense systems and fools you into thinking that you have perfectly good reasons not to change. Fear, particularly fear of making mistakes, causes indecisiveness and stops you from knowing what you really want. It warps your perception of your life and what you can do to make it better.
Fear keeps you from asking for help when you need it or benefiting from the emotional support offered to you. To calm your fears, you develop unhealthy habits and behavior patterns. Fear makes you give up one step short of your goal. And finally, fear keeps you from taking the risks necessary for growth.
Fear can control your life if you let it. But you can push through it if you can relax physically and mentally, and develop the habit of taking well-chosen risks - small ones at first, then bigger ones. Affirmations and visualizations are a great help too. If you get into the habit of vividly seeing yourself achieve success, you can overcome the paralyzing effects of fear and move confidently into the good life you deserve.
What types of fears do you have that are preventing you from positive change?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Fear persuades you to do less than you are capable of doing. It triggers internal defense systems and fools you into thinking that you have perfectly good reasons not to change. Fear, particularly fear of making mistakes, causes indecisiveness and stops you from knowing what you really want. It warps your perception of your life and what you can do to make it better.
Fear keeps you from asking for help when you need it or benefiting from the emotional support offered to you. To calm your fears, you develop unhealthy habits and behavior patterns. Fear makes you give up one step short of your goal. And finally, fear keeps you from taking the risks necessary for growth.
Fear can control your life if you let it. But you can push through it if you can relax physically and mentally, and develop the habit of taking well-chosen risks - small ones at first, then bigger ones. Affirmations and visualizations are a great help too. If you get into the habit of vividly seeing yourself achieve success, you can overcome the paralyzing effects of fear and move confidently into the good life you deserve.
What types of fears do you have that are preventing you from positive change?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Friday, July 22, 2005
"Purpose in Life"
Do you believe that having a purpose in life is important? I do, and my experience has taught me that having a purpose contributes a great deal to the quality of our lives. Not only that, having a purpose can actually prolong your life.
Several years ago, a study done by Judith Roden of Harvard followed two groups of patients in a convalescent home. Members of one group were asked to care for a potted plant during that time. Members of the other group had no such purpose. Those who were plant caretakers lived, on average, twice as long as the others did. You see, a sense of purpose fosters hope, self-motivation and positive feelings about oneself and others.
Now it is important to remember that, if it's going to be truly meaningful, your life's purpose must be something that is chosen freely by you, not something that is chosen for you. And it may have nothing whatever to do with what you do for a living, although, if it does that would be ideal.
Have you thought about what your purpose is? Have you tried to put it into words? If not, take the time to do so, and then use that purpose as a compass to guide your activities. You will be surprised at how much energy and clarity you'll feel.
And by the way, age has nothing to do with finding purpose in your life - today will do!
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Several years ago, a study done by Judith Roden of Harvard followed two groups of patients in a convalescent home. Members of one group were asked to care for a potted plant during that time. Members of the other group had no such purpose. Those who were plant caretakers lived, on average, twice as long as the others did. You see, a sense of purpose fosters hope, self-motivation and positive feelings about oneself and others.
Now it is important to remember that, if it's going to be truly meaningful, your life's purpose must be something that is chosen freely by you, not something that is chosen for you. And it may have nothing whatever to do with what you do for a living, although, if it does that would be ideal.
Have you thought about what your purpose is? Have you tried to put it into words? If not, take the time to do so, and then use that purpose as a compass to guide your activities. You will be surprised at how much energy and clarity you'll feel.
And by the way, age has nothing to do with finding purpose in your life - today will do!
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Thursday, July 21, 2005
"Talking to Yourself"
Do you ever talk to yourself out loud? Lot's of people do. However, most of your self-talk is silent, and it's very powerful. You see, we talk to ourselves all the time. In fact, most of it happens in the form of thoughts, and it usually happens so fast, we don't even know it.
While you are reading this right now, you are talking to yourself three times as fast. When you stop reading, you speed up to about six times faster. These running thoughts, or "self-talk" as it is called, is very powerful, so it is important that you become aware of what it contains.
Your self-talk builds up or tears down your self-image, determines what kind of relationships you have with other people, influences what kind of income you have and what kind of work you do. It affects virtually everything in your life.
If you tell yourself good things don't happen to you, believe me, they won'
t, because your subconscious will make sure that you find a way to prove yourself right. And if you have a positive expectation of success, chances are excellent that you will succeed. You will persist in your efforts and you will persuade others to help you until you achieve your goal.
So, pay close attention to the kinds of things you say to yourself. And, if you hear putdowns, derogatory labels or harsh criticisms, deliberately stop them and answer back in a positive way. When you take charge of your self-talk, you go a long way toward taking charge of your life.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
While you are reading this right now, you are talking to yourself three times as fast. When you stop reading, you speed up to about six times faster. These running thoughts, or "self-talk" as it is called, is very powerful, so it is important that you become aware of what it contains.
Your self-talk builds up or tears down your self-image, determines what kind of relationships you have with other people, influences what kind of income you have and what kind of work you do. It affects virtually everything in your life.
If you tell yourself good things don't happen to you, believe me, they won'
t, because your subconscious will make sure that you find a way to prove yourself right. And if you have a positive expectation of success, chances are excellent that you will succeed. You will persist in your efforts and you will persuade others to help you until you achieve your goal.
So, pay close attention to the kinds of things you say to yourself. And, if you hear putdowns, derogatory labels or harsh criticisms, deliberately stop them and answer back in a positive way. When you take charge of your self-talk, you go a long way toward taking charge of your life.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
"Be Careful What You Laugh At"
Living in a society that operates from racist and sexist values is no laughing matter - and I mean that quite literally. Everybody likes to enjoy a good laugh, and everybody wants to feel that they are a part of a happy group of friends. But what about the times when the laugh seems to be at someone else's expense?
What do you do when you hear a friend tell a joke that plays on racial, ethnic or sexual stereotypes? What do you do when you are chatting with a group of pals and someone makes a remark that indicates intolerance, bigotry or sexism? I think you sell yourself and our society short if you join in these "We're OK, they aren't OK" sessions.
I think, for the sake of your own self-esteem and for the sake of a democratic society, you owe it to yourself to be decent and fair and insist that others be the same way in your presence. Don't tell, laugh at, or in any way go along with racial, ethnic, religious or gender jokes, or to any practices whatsoever that are intended to demean rather than enhance another human being.
Walk away from them. Stare them down. Make them unacceptable in your homes, places of worship, and the workplace. Perhaps we aren't all equally guilty, but we are all equally responsible for building a decent and just society - regardless of where we live.
Racism, sexism, and other forms of bigotry and intolerance undermine our strength, and weaken the fibers of our society. Don't buy into them with your laughter.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
What do you do when you hear a friend tell a joke that plays on racial, ethnic or sexual stereotypes? What do you do when you are chatting with a group of pals and someone makes a remark that indicates intolerance, bigotry or sexism? I think you sell yourself and our society short if you join in these "We're OK, they aren't OK" sessions.
I think, for the sake of your own self-esteem and for the sake of a democratic society, you owe it to yourself to be decent and fair and insist that others be the same way in your presence. Don't tell, laugh at, or in any way go along with racial, ethnic, religious or gender jokes, or to any practices whatsoever that are intended to demean rather than enhance another human being.
Walk away from them. Stare them down. Make them unacceptable in your homes, places of worship, and the workplace. Perhaps we aren't all equally guilty, but we are all equally responsible for building a decent and just society - regardless of where we live.
Racism, sexism, and other forms of bigotry and intolerance undermine our strength, and weaken the fibers of our society. Don't buy into them with your laughter.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Monday, July 18, 2005
"Your Own Best Friend"
Today, let's talk about the most important relationship in your life - the one you have with yourself.
Think of someone you regard as a dear friend. If no such person exists in your life, dream one up. The time you spend with this person brings you a special pleasure, doesn't it? You tend to be loving, protective, and solicitous toward him or her, and you really have their best interests at heart, don't you? You really care.
Now, ask yourself, "Do I give myself the same kind of care and consideration?" On the basis of your self-treatment, many of us would truthfully need to answer, "Certainly not!" If this is your answer, ask yourself why. Maybe you will see some negative programming from the past that taught you to suppress or deny your own needs. Maybe you were taught that caring for yourself was selfish and wrong. As a result, you engineer defeats and deprivations, either automatically or unconsciously, that leave you feeling victimized.
But, you know, you can't really treat others any better than you treat yourself without hurting your own self-esteem. Your self-esteem is of vital importance, for without it you will have less to give, be able to receive less, and in general live a less than satisfying and fulfilling life.
So, if you want to be a good friend to others, take my advice and learn to be your own best friend.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Think of someone you regard as a dear friend. If no such person exists in your life, dream one up. The time you spend with this person brings you a special pleasure, doesn't it? You tend to be loving, protective, and solicitous toward him or her, and you really have their best interests at heart, don't you? You really care.
Now, ask yourself, "Do I give myself the same kind of care and consideration?" On the basis of your self-treatment, many of us would truthfully need to answer, "Certainly not!" If this is your answer, ask yourself why. Maybe you will see some negative programming from the past that taught you to suppress or deny your own needs. Maybe you were taught that caring for yourself was selfish and wrong. As a result, you engineer defeats and deprivations, either automatically or unconsciously, that leave you feeling victimized.
But, you know, you can't really treat others any better than you treat yourself without hurting your own self-esteem. Your self-esteem is of vital importance, for without it you will have less to give, be able to receive less, and in general live a less than satisfying and fulfilling life.
So, if you want to be a good friend to others, take my advice and learn to be your own best friend.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Friday, July 15, 2005
"Handling Rejection"
Most of us can handle physical pain, but when it comes to rejection or disapproval, it is often another story. Today, let's talk more about handling psychological pain.
Most of us deal pretty well with the physical lumps and bumps of life. Even though we dislike them, we bear our falls, illnesses, broken bones, surgeries and the like with relative aplomb. However, when it comes to psychological hurts, like disapproval or rejection, we often behave like frightened children, or we seal ourselves away in isolation.
Now, on an intellectual level, we all know we can't go through life without periodic disapproval or rejection. But the time when rejection's sting becomes unbearable is when it joins our own self-rejection. Surely, closeness means hurt from time to time, but the hurt is less deep and less lasting when you basically affirm yourself. That is why it is so important for us to behave in ways that build our self-image and self-esteem. It is also why our relationships improve when we begin to feel better about ourselves.
To be fully alive is to be willing to risk pain and failure. To enter into a close relationship is to make oneself vulnerable. But, if we don't take these risks, the alternative is loneliness and isolation, and a life half-lived.
So, if you want to enjoy happier, more fulfilling relationships with others, pay attention to the relationship with yourself.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Most of us deal pretty well with the physical lumps and bumps of life. Even though we dislike them, we bear our falls, illnesses, broken bones, surgeries and the like with relative aplomb. However, when it comes to psychological hurts, like disapproval or rejection, we often behave like frightened children, or we seal ourselves away in isolation.
Now, on an intellectual level, we all know we can't go through life without periodic disapproval or rejection. But the time when rejection's sting becomes unbearable is when it joins our own self-rejection. Surely, closeness means hurt from time to time, but the hurt is less deep and less lasting when you basically affirm yourself. That is why it is so important for us to behave in ways that build our self-image and self-esteem. It is also why our relationships improve when we begin to feel better about ourselves.
To be fully alive is to be willing to risk pain and failure. To enter into a close relationship is to make oneself vulnerable. But, if we don't take these risks, the alternative is loneliness and isolation, and a life half-lived.
So, if you want to enjoy happier, more fulfilling relationships with others, pay attention to the relationship with yourself.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Thursday, July 14, 2005
"What, Me Worry?"
What would you like to avoid in your life? Most of us try to avoid certain things like illness and injury, poverty, stress, depression and pain, just to name a few.
Now, it makes sense to try to avoid these things as much as possible, but some people spend an enormous amount of time worrying about how to avoid them, and worrying about how to cope with them if they do happen to occur.
Well, just by spending that much time worrying, they are pretty much eliminating the possibility of feeling happy.
They are also raising their stress level, thereby weakening their immune system, which makes them more susceptible to illness and pain. Depression often follows excessive worry, and if you are stressed and depressed, chances are you are not going to do your best at work, at home, or anyplace else.
You see, worry creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, because we move toward and become like that which we think about. If we spend most of our time worrying about something, we shouldn't be surprised when it obligingly shows up.
Worrying is a lot like paying for trouble, before you get the bill. You wouldn't think of doing that with your money, would you? So, why in the world would you do it with something more precious than money - your time and your life?!
For every minute you spend worrying, how could you be affirming personal success and happiness instead?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Now, it makes sense to try to avoid these things as much as possible, but some people spend an enormous amount of time worrying about how to avoid them, and worrying about how to cope with them if they do happen to occur.
Well, just by spending that much time worrying, they are pretty much eliminating the possibility of feeling happy.
They are also raising their stress level, thereby weakening their immune system, which makes them more susceptible to illness and pain. Depression often follows excessive worry, and if you are stressed and depressed, chances are you are not going to do your best at work, at home, or anyplace else.
You see, worry creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, because we move toward and become like that which we think about. If we spend most of our time worrying about something, we shouldn't be surprised when it obligingly shows up.
Worrying is a lot like paying for trouble, before you get the bill. You wouldn't think of doing that with your money, would you? So, why in the world would you do it with something more precious than money - your time and your life?!
For every minute you spend worrying, how could you be affirming personal success and happiness instead?
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
National Friendship Week
Many people will walk in & out of ur life. But only true friends will leave footprints in ur heart. 2 handle urself, use ur head; 2 handle others, use ur heart. Anger is only 1 letter short of danger. If someone betrays u once, it is his fault; If he betrays u twice, it is ur fault. Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. He, who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more; He, who loses faith, loses all. Beautiful young people r accidents of nature, Learn from the mistakes of others. U can't live long enough 2 make them all urself. There is no beginning or end ...Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.
Friday, June 11, 2004
Personal Anecdote
I knew that staying there to help the lady, and warn traffic about the incident, try to calm her down, waiting for the police and ambulance (being in the middle of nowhere) ...I would be very late. That my friends is called selfishness. I am glad that I knew what was the right thing to do, and forgot about making it on time for my destination. I went through that myself before, and know for certain that someone might have missed out on something to rescue my mother and me.
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Does It Matter?
My father asked me if I am gay
...I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "No, not really."
So I said "Yes."He said "Get out of my life!"
...I guess it mattered.
My boss asked me if I am gay
...I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "no, not really."
So I said "Yes."He said "You're fired, faggot!"
...I guess it mattered.
My best friend asked me if I am gay
...I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "No, not really."
So I said "Yes."He said "Don't call me your friend!"
...I guess it mattered.
My lover asked me "Do you love me?"
I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "Yes!"So I told him I loved him.
He said "Let me hold you in my arms!"
For the first time in my life something matters!
My God asked me "Do you love yourself?"
I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "Yes!"I asked him "How can I love myself if I am gay?"
He said "That is how I made you."Nothing again will ever really matter.
...I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "No, not really."
So I said "Yes."He said "Get out of my life!"
...I guess it mattered.
My boss asked me if I am gay
...I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "no, not really."
So I said "Yes."He said "You're fired, faggot!"
...I guess it mattered.
My best friend asked me if I am gay
...I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "No, not really."
So I said "Yes."He said "Don't call me your friend!"
...I guess it mattered.
My lover asked me "Do you love me?"
I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "Yes!"So I told him I loved him.
He said "Let me hold you in my arms!"
For the first time in my life something matters!
My God asked me "Do you love yourself?"
I asked him "Does it matter?"
He said "Yes!"I asked him "How can I love myself if I am gay?"
He said "That is how I made you."Nothing again will ever really matter.
Saturday, December 20, 2003
Ever Wonder...
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there song about him?
6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
17. Stop singing and read on ......
18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
21. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
22. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there song about him?
6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
17. Stop singing and read on ......
18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
21. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
22. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
Sunday, October 19, 2003
Mankind
What surprises me most about mankind?
That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.
That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived...
What are some of life's lessons to learn?
To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved.
To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives.
To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis!
To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them.
To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.
To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.
To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally different.
To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them...and likes them anyway.
To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves.
Remeber that people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.
That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived...
What are some of life's lessons to learn?
To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved.
To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives.
To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis!
To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them.
To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.
To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.
To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally different.
To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them...and likes them anyway.
To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves.
Remeber that people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Explanation
Adolfo, a friend from Key West, FL, wrote to me..."gracias mr. marco. i would like to know what this means? 'Things Turn Out Best for the People Who Makethe Best Out of the Way Things Turn Out To' what are you trying to say?"
This was my reply...
Lets say you get lost on the road, then you get aflat, your cell phone is not working, starts to rain, you have no spare tire, and it is getting dark. after a few minutes, which seem to be an eternity to you, a truck driver stops and gives you a ride to get your tire fixed. On the way to the nearest town you realized the car that was in front of you, while you were driving before your flat, had rolled over and the emergency unit is there trying to save that person's life trapped in the car. You could see the skid marks on the road that the car had spun before rolling over on the side shoulder. You also notice another car onthe opposite side crushed into a median tree. That car had been coming on the opposite road. You hear the radio informing of the accident being started by the opposite car's driver. The driver had fell asleep and got off the road. It was headed to the car just infront of you (if you were still driving then) but the car tried to scape the hit and lost control of the car, just as she jerked, it so it would not get hit. That would have meant that you were the target then. By this, the driver had awaken and pressed the breaks also loosing control and sliding back to the median finally hitting a tree. Both drivers were lucky to survive such tragedy.
You get to the nearest town, the truck driver leaves you there. You still have no reception, and the tire place has been closed already. You have no choice but to look for a place to stay the night. As you are walking clueless, 3 guyz corner you and steal your wallet. Before they left you alone, they had given you a good beat. Someone was passing by and noticed you were weak and hurt. This person offers to help you. They carry you to their house, and there, they feed you and clean your wounds.
The next morning, you get your tire fixed, but have no way of paying the mechanic. The mechanic does not want to give you the tire unless you pay him. You then remember you left your debit card in the glovebox of your car. The mechanic sends someone with you to see about your car. When you get there, your car had been broken in. The glass of the passanger window was everywhere. They had stolen your cd player. To your surprise, the thieves did not bother to look inthe glove box becuase your debit card was still there. Then you place the tire back. Your car starts fine, and you go to the town and pay the mechanic. As you were leaving, you noticed the guy you least liked was passing by. He recognizes you and stops to ask if you were ok. He offered to follow you till you got home safe since it was on his way. You get home safe.
At night, before going to sleep, you start to think about the series of events that had just passed. You can take that as the worse experience ever in your life, right? at the same time, you can take another look and realize how blessed you are for still being alive, and not to mention that the person you least expect to helped you, was there for you.
Thus, depending on how YOU look at things that happen in your life, that is how things will turn out to. If you look at it in agood positive way...you will see that experience thatway as well. I truly believe that I have the ability to turn every situation to its best, can you?
This was my reply...
Lets say you get lost on the road, then you get aflat, your cell phone is not working, starts to rain, you have no spare tire, and it is getting dark. after a few minutes, which seem to be an eternity to you, a truck driver stops and gives you a ride to get your tire fixed. On the way to the nearest town you realized the car that was in front of you, while you were driving before your flat, had rolled over and the emergency unit is there trying to save that person's life trapped in the car. You could see the skid marks on the road that the car had spun before rolling over on the side shoulder. You also notice another car onthe opposite side crushed into a median tree. That car had been coming on the opposite road. You hear the radio informing of the accident being started by the opposite car's driver. The driver had fell asleep and got off the road. It was headed to the car just infront of you (if you were still driving then) but the car tried to scape the hit and lost control of the car, just as she jerked, it so it would not get hit. That would have meant that you were the target then. By this, the driver had awaken and pressed the breaks also loosing control and sliding back to the median finally hitting a tree. Both drivers were lucky to survive such tragedy.
You get to the nearest town, the truck driver leaves you there. You still have no reception, and the tire place has been closed already. You have no choice but to look for a place to stay the night. As you are walking clueless, 3 guyz corner you and steal your wallet. Before they left you alone, they had given you a good beat. Someone was passing by and noticed you were weak and hurt. This person offers to help you. They carry you to their house, and there, they feed you and clean your wounds.
The next morning, you get your tire fixed, but have no way of paying the mechanic. The mechanic does not want to give you the tire unless you pay him. You then remember you left your debit card in the glovebox of your car. The mechanic sends someone with you to see about your car. When you get there, your car had been broken in. The glass of the passanger window was everywhere. They had stolen your cd player. To your surprise, the thieves did not bother to look inthe glove box becuase your debit card was still there. Then you place the tire back. Your car starts fine, and you go to the town and pay the mechanic. As you were leaving, you noticed the guy you least liked was passing by. He recognizes you and stops to ask if you were ok. He offered to follow you till you got home safe since it was on his way. You get home safe.
At night, before going to sleep, you start to think about the series of events that had just passed. You can take that as the worse experience ever in your life, right? at the same time, you can take another look and realize how blessed you are for still being alive, and not to mention that the person you least expect to helped you, was there for you.
Thus, depending on how YOU look at things that happen in your life, that is how things will turn out to. If you look at it in agood positive way...you will see that experience thatway as well. I truly believe that I have the ability to turn every situation to its best, can you?
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Plato's Symposium:
Each of us when separated, having one side only, like a flat fish, is but the indenture of man, and he is always looking for his other half. Men who are a section of that double nature which was once called androgynous are lovers of women; adulterers are generally of this breed, and also adulterous women who lust after men, but have female attachments; the female companions are of this sort. But they who are a section of the male follow the male, and while they are young, being slices of the original man, they hang about with men and embrace them, and they are themselves the best of boys and youths, because they have the most manly nature. Some indeed assert that they are shameless, but this is not true, for they do not act thus from any want of shame, but because they are valiant and manly, and have a manly countenance, and they embrace that which is like them. And these when they grow up become our statesmen, and these only, which is a great proof of the truth of what I am saying. When they reach manhood they are lovers of youth, and are not naturally inclined to marry or to begat children--if at all, they do so only in obedience to the law; but they are satisfied if they may be allowed to live with one another unwedded; and such a nature is prone to love and ready to return love, always embracing that which is akin to him. And when one of them meets his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together, yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intesne yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover's intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell, and of which she has only a dark and doubtful presentiment.
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
Did You Know?
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flyingover the Parliament building is an American flag.
All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends inthe letters "mt."
All 50 states are listed across the top of theLincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula".
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone's business card said he was a usedfurniture dealer.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life."
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.(DON'T try this @ home!)
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tub and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. (Presbyterian)
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.
The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
A cockroach can live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
Elvis had a twin brother named Aaron, who died at birth, which is why Elvis' middle name was spelled Aron; in honor of his brother.
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the lefthand.
Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turnwhite.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazydog" uses every letter in the English language.
The continents names all end with the same letter with which they start. TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they areread left to right or right to left.
A snail can sleep for 3 years.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (does that one really surprise any of us?)
Vatican City is the smallest country in the world, with a population of 1000 and a size of 108.7 acres.
Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.
"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
No president of the United States was an only child.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flyingover the Parliament building is an American flag.
All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends inthe letters "mt."
All 50 states are listed across the top of theLincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula".
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone's business card said he was a usedfurniture dealer.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life."
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.(DON'T try this @ home!)
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tub and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. (Presbyterian)
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.
The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
A cockroach can live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
Elvis had a twin brother named Aaron, who died at birth, which is why Elvis' middle name was spelled Aron; in honor of his brother.
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the lefthand.
Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turnwhite.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazydog" uses every letter in the English language.
The continents names all end with the same letter with which they start. TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they areread left to right or right to left.
A snail can sleep for 3 years.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (does that one really surprise any of us?)
Vatican City is the smallest country in the world, with a population of 1000 and a size of 108.7 acres.
Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.
"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
No president of the United States was an only child.
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